why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
