I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Come on in and take your pants off
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