Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
