just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Randomize