Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
