toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
