i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
