Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
