Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
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A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
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Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.