He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.