He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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