The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
if only i could text you this smell
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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