don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
