I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize