I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
