Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
