AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
