I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize