So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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