Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
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i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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