an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
