woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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