Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
