At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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