I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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