marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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