I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
