like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
