so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
