So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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