the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.