i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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