Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time

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  (248): god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time http://tfl.nu/psyk
  Replies (10) Good night (1286) Bad night (702)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?

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  (208): i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good? http://tfl.nu/cjn1
  Replies (4) Good night (4212) Bad night (894)
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  (626): View more from California

  you didnt know i had herpes?

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  (626): you didnt know i had herpes? http://tfl.nu/e6ph
  Replies (104) Good night (1613) Bad night (38093)
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  (+82): View more from

  I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.

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  (+82): I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes. http://tfl.nu/b0wk
  Replies (24) Good night (1058) Bad night (7494)
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  (650): View more from California

  we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  god you guys know how to party

  (650): View more from California

  worst. bachelorette party. ever.

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  (650): we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed (505): god you guys know how to party (650): worst. bachelorette party. ever. http://tfl.nu/3oqx
  Replies (16) Good night (1117) Bad night (6987)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.

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  (330): I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him. http://tfl.nu/hzd4
  Replies (17) Good night (994) Bad night (7000)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.

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  (724): It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me. http://tfl.nu/9spl
  Replies (7) Good night (3848) Bad night (794)
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  (909): View more from California

  If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?

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  (909): If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night? http://tfl.nu/ont9
  Replies (14) Good night (1064) Bad night (4250)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.

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  (817): Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent. http://tfl.nu/lzjs
  Replies (6) Good night (2892) Bad night (1044)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.

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  (902): I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush. http://tfl.nu/kzf1
  Replies (5) Good night (2306) Bad night (758)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show

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  (480): You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show http://tfl.nu/lsuc
  Replies (5) Good night (2663) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?

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  (248): Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date? http://tfl.nu/49q5
  Replies (14) Good night (2562) Bad night (882)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30

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  (254): I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30 http://tfl.nu/3ama
  Replies (12) Good night (726) Bad night (2530)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on

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  (505): How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on http://tfl.nu/wdzm
  Replies (5) Good night (481) Bad night (1302)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.

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  (306): you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet. http://tfl.nu/iwag
  Replies (2) Good night (864) Bad night (260)

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