just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap