he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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