so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
