That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
