Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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