I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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