i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
