it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
