Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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