i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
