So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
