dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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