He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
