Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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