When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.