just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.