umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.