Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
