Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.