instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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