did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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