the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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