pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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