My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize