A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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