what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
