Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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