all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
The air taste purple.
Randomize
