Jerry, you need to find god
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
We are all done wearing pants today
Randomize
