but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
