if you like me you must not know who I am
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
