Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
