matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
