Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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