omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I can't put those talents on a resume
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
