billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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