Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
