Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
