omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
