Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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