Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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