I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
