all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize